Who Said Life Is Fair?

When I was growing up, there were many times either my sister or I would whine to our Mom “but that’s not fair!” when something in our little world just didn’t match up.

It could have been that it wasn’t my turn to empty the dishwasher.  Or my younger (by 18 months) sister was allowed to stay out as late as I was (because I was far more mature).  Or that I was forced to have my “baby” sister follow me and my friends to the movies…. yes, there was a lot of competition in my head about who was the oldest, more mature sister.  I didn’t always win this argument.

“Life isn’t always fair, you might as well get over that right now.”  was a typical type of response by our mother.  This never made me happy.  But how could it make a petulant teenager full of piss and vinegar understand exactly what the lesson was supposed to be about?

No, life isn’t fair.  Some people seem to have everything they ever wanted.  They are born into families with much more money.  They can eat all the sweets they want without gaining weight.  They get to stay out until midnight or later.  They get the best grades without really cracking a book.

Or do they?

What if that money they have is buying them pretty things to make up for the fact that their parents fight all the time?  What if in private they are purging that food to stay skinny?  What if they can stay out late because their parents were too busy or too drunk and forgot to pick them up?  What if they were exhausted and hopped up on caffeine because they stayed up all night writing that paper you got done two days ago?

We have no idea what struggles other people go through.  This is something that took me years to understand.  It’s something I’ve said to my own children whom I’m sure have no idea what I’m talking about as yet.  But it’s so true.  Life just isn’t fair.

But that doesn’t mean life can’t be amazing!

Maybe being fair would take away the victories we are meant to have!  Ever think that your struggles with whatever you’re going through could be leading to something amazing?  I’d like to think that every struggle can lead to victory if we let it.

My weight gain led me to a healthier lifestyle of exercise and nutrition.  My financial struggles have led me to finding happiness in the small things that money can’t buy.  Growing up with an alcoholic father who used to pass out before he would remember to do what he promised led me to making sure I don’t make promises to my kids that I’m not certain I will follow through with.

My struggles have made me the woman I’m proud to be today.  They continue to push me to help others, to be the friend and coach I wish I had had for all those years.

Life isn’t fair.  Thank goodness for that!


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