Nostalgic

I sometimes get a little nostalgic… often for no reason, but I recently had a birthday, so that’s why it’s happening now.

April is a month of memories and family birthdays for me.  My dad’s was April 2, mine is the 15th, my grandma’s was the 19th.  When I was young it was special to me to share this month with those two.  I was told I was my grandma’s favorite birthday present ever since I came home from the hospital on her birthday way back when!  How is that not special?

So, as I’m hitting that mid-life age where I can look back and see certain trends in my life and yet still look forward to a long and wonderful future… it’s hard not to see how things have changed, how I have changed, and see where I want to be in the next 20 years.

I am proud of a lot of what I’ve done.  I love my family, I have some amazing friends.  I’ve discovered that health and happiness is much more important than material things.  But this isn’t anything others haven’t already discovered.  In many ways, I’m still trying to figure things out and make the rest of my life the best years yet!

My kids are nearly grown.  I’m proud of who they are becoming, and while I expect to still have them home for a few more years, they need me less and less.  It feels good that they are independent, yet I do miss those years of snuggling on the couch with a book before bed.  Those were fun years for me.

My husband’s job keeps him away from home, which means I’m often alone in the evenings.  This has taught me to keep busy, to involve myself in my own interests, to make myself available to new adventures.  Some people ask me how I can do it, and sometimes it’s boring, but really I think it’s teaching me lessons for the future.

My dreams for the future have shifted a bit.  I want to travel.  I want to help people.  I want to do something every day that makes me happy and makes me feel important.  I’m a pretty simple girl, after all!

But I also want adventures.  There are things I’ve wanted to do that I haven’t done yet.  While I feel nostalgic for the past, it’s really a feeling more of “what’s to come” that I’m working through.  It’s difficult sometimes to make plans, but I’m piecing things together.  I don’t want life to pass me by!!!

If there are dreams out there that you think are out of your reach, why not make a plan and at least try?  That’s what I’m doing.  They may be different dreams than what I had when I was younger, but I don’t want to waste my life.  I want to make a difference.  I want to matter.  I want to be here.

I don’t think that’s too big a goal for anyone to have.  And you know me…. I’ll never give up on my dreams!

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