Sorry it’s been so long, I really have no excuse except I didn’t even want to hear me whining about my life lately. Honestly, I’m pretty sick of feeling like crap.
So I’m doing something about that.
Starting tomorrow, my team has put together a Summer Strong challenge that I’m going to take on. I want to say I’ll “try”, but the truth is, I am telling myself I WILL and I will modify and take breaks when necessary… and that is the only thing that is acceptable!
I may stumble, I may fall, but I WILL get back up and keep going!
This whole year so far feels like a stumble. Then this week I took a big fall.
Well, not exactly me, but it shook me to my core.
My son had took an overdose of something. We aren’t really clear on what it was, how he got it, or even why, but that was the scariest 36 hours of my life.
You see, we were woken up by the police on Tuesday morning that he was in ER and we needed to go right over. So I went. He had been there about 90 minutes and at that point all we knew was he was high on something that was causing him to behave in a very aggressive manor.
He was sedated. He was restrained. He was nothing like my kid. Nothing. It was the scariest thing I’ve seen as a mother.
He’s no angel, I know that, and I know he’s done some things that he’s not proud of. I also know he’s been high before. But not like this. Not out of control.
He went from the ER to the ICU at a nearby children’s hospital by ambulance. I went with him. He only freaked out twice on the 30 minute drive. We were able to calm him a bit.
He slept most of the day between rages.
He was sedated again when the morning doses wore off, about 10 pm. He slept fitfully that night.
Approximately 36 hours after he was brought in, he was released to come home.
He swears he has no idea what happened. He was at his friend’s house “chillin” and he woke up in the hospital.
He almost died. He broke my heart. He remembers nothing. Or so he says, at least.
Meanwhile his father and I were a nervous wreck. We barely slept. We had trouble remembering to eat. We were stressed to the max.
He has no idea.
He’s back to normal. Which means, he’s 17 and far from normal and thinks he’s invincible.
I’m going to go back to MY normal too. I know I can. He’s alive, it’s up to ME to make my life the best it can be, just like I was last summer.
It’s been too long since I got my feelings out there. This is good for me. Even if nobody reads it, it’s my therapy.
So I’ll try to write a few times a week.
I’m alive. That’s worth more than money. More than riches. That’s everything.
It’s up to me to make my life amazing. That’s just what I intend to do.