Stay Positive

OK, trying very hard to stay positive today.

Yesterday did not go as we expected it to.  Instead of moving forward and figuring out the next step, the kid decided it would be better to just check out.

He’s fine, I think.  He went to a friend’s because he couldn’t handle the stress of dealing with reality.  He didn’t come home last night.  He wants to just quit school because it’s all too hard.

I find this completely unacceptable, but how do you explain to a 17-year-old that THIS TOO SHALL PASS???  He doesn’t see the big picture, because to him this IS the big picture.

He doesn’t understand why I won’t just let him drive his car… without a license.  No way, buddy… that ain’t happening.

He thinks dropping out of school and just working at McDonald’s for the rest of his life is the better way to go… he says he’ll just get his GED next year.  Why not?  His brother did that.

I don’t know where the heck he gets this mentality!  I mean, I have a bachelor’s degree and would go back to school in a heartbeat if I could afford it (and had time) but both of my kids just HATE school.  I get that we are all different, but it’s difficult to comprehend.

When things get tough, he gives up.  That is something else I don’t get…. life goes on!  Nobody ever said life was easy or fair for that matter!  Get over your damn self and suck it up and deal with the consequences of your choices…. but stay positive!  Things can and will get better!

That’s what I told him.  That’s what he really didn’t want to hear.  I probably pushed it a little too far, but I was as upset as he was.

He’s feeling sorry for himself.  I’m giving him the tough love he needs.  He doesn’t get that.

Parenting sucks sometimes… can I say that?  Well, it does.

I miss my adorable, precocious, cuddly little boy.  This surly, cussing and obnoxious teen is not the kid I envisioned he would be.  But I still love him.

I want to help him, but he doesn’t want my help.  I want to make a plan for his future, but he will have no part in that.

I can’t just fix this for him.  He has made too many mistakes for them to be just swept under the rug.  He has to pay the consequences for his choices and he’s pissed.  Well, so am I.

I’m pissed that this whole thing even happened.  That he feels entitled to exceptions for breaking the law.  That’s not going to happen.  No matter what, he has to deal with it, even if that means he doesn’t drive for a few more months.

I just hate that he might throw away a perfectly good education over a glitch.  He can still petition the court to get a restricted license sooner than February (which is when he’s scheduled to be eligible to get it back).  He just doesn’t see the point.  He won’t listen to me.

So today I’m trying to stay positive.  My life and his life may be falling apart, but I refuse to give up and just accept that it’s the end.  It’s a bump in the road, sure.  It completely sucks, but he made this bed… time to face reality.  But we can do that from a positive place!  It won’t necessarily change things, but it might make it easier.

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One thought on “Stay Positive

  1. Hang in there. I think the negativity may be a teenage boy thing. I am having similar issues with my 16 year old. Always negative. Hates school. If something bad happens, he wont take ownership. It’s always someone else’s fault. I worry for him. I want the best for him. He may be heading down a path I would not want him to go, but in the end it is his path. We, as parents, can stand by them, encourage them, and hold their hands for as long as possible. The decisions they make may cause skinned knees and bruises. We can pray that as they get older our positivity will be seen.

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