It’s Never Easy…

I believe that in every strong person’s past is a whole lot of crap.  I’m no exception to this.

Yesterday I was speaking to a friend of mine that I hadn’t seen much this summer, but she is someone who I trust, she inspires me, and she makes me feel accepted and loved every time I see her… she’s just awesome!  She was asking how things were going, and of course you know the current story (she does too, and she’s probably reading this) and her response surprised me.

She wanted to know, how with all I do for everyone around me… who’s been my rock?

I didn’t know exactly what to say!  My husband drives all week.  He’s there for me, as much as he can be through the phone, but he’s not HERE.  We’ve learned to make this work for us, and I wouldn’t change it because he’s found a career he enjoys and he’s really good at, and I love him enough to make sure he feels supported.

My full-time job is one in which I care for others, all day long.  I like that, because I like to feel needed, even if it’s exhausting sometimes.

My parents are needing more of my time and energy lately, and I never think twice about doing whatever they need.  Today, in fact, my step-dad is having surgery… and it’s breaking my heart that I can’t sit and hold Mom’s hand.  But I’ll be there tomorrow… she asked me not to take the day off work!  Ugh, I wanted to… but I respected her wishes.

My kids… well, they need me even if they don’t think they do.  I’ll never stop loving and giving and being there for them.  It’s a mom thing.

I have a lot going on and I have a past full of junk and stuff and experiences I wouldn’t want to bore you with… but I also have a life full of amazing people, amazing experiences, and a whole lot of love.

I believe that being strong doesn’t exempt you from the crappy stuff… being strong means you focus on the good.  You get through the bad, you put it behind you, hopefully you learn from it…. and you move forward!

Rising above, that’s what makes me strong.

I was a child of divorce…. so were most of my friends.  I was the child of an alcoholic…. this does not make me unique.  I struggle with depression and anxiety myself…. there are millions of us out there, just trying to do our best every day.  I have kids who have been beyond difficult and found themselves in situations I wouldn’t wish on my enemy…. but I’m not alone.

This is not a comprehensive list, it’s just an outline to show you that being strong doesn’t mean life is easy… in fact I think it’s the opposite.  I think when life throws crap at you, you need to be able to stand up and toss it back over the fence.  That is what makes you strong!

Having beautiful people in my life makes it better.  On those days I want to hide in bed all day, I make myself get out and enjoy the sunshine… because that’s what makes me strong.

Who’s my rock?  Well, honestly it will sound so cliche… but it’s true…. I have to lean on God.  He’s the only one who knows the true depths of my soul and heals me from the inside.  I don’t do enough leaning on Him.  It’s time to change that.  It’s never easy!

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