This week I’ve talked about finding joy and goodness in each day. I’ve challenged myself to find it every hour, or at least 10 times a day. I’ve yet to honestly FIND it 10 times, but because I’m aware of it, there’s definitely joy there.
Being joyful isn’t easy when you’re over stressed and over tired. I’ve been suffering from insomnia now for a few weeks and it’s catching up to me physically and mentally. I know this. I’m fully aware. I’m doing my best to reverse it without drugs and/or alcohol because that’s a rabbit hole I really don’t want to check out right now.
I’ve been meditating each evening before bedtime and it’s helping. Last night I actually got to sleep BEFORE 11pm, so that’s saying something! I get up at 5:30, so ideally I’d like to be asleep by 10. I can live with 11 as well. Let’s see if this trend continues!
So the first day that I was searching for joy I think I was looking for it wrong. I was looking for extraordinary things to report and I really didn’t have any. My life isn’t all that extraordinary, I’m just little old me after all. But I do have moments of ordinary that make my heart sing… they are there. If I stop looking and let them happen I’m more likely to realize how blessed I really am.
Yesterday was one of those ordinary days that was filled with ordinary moments of joy. Even the sunshine made my heart sing with joy! But the weather was just one thing. I’ll take it. Being intentional with my search for joy in those ordinary moments has opened my eyes to the cold hard truth that I really am on the verge of a meltdown. I’m not sure I can stop it, but I’m definitely seeking out ways to stay off that edge. Focusing on what I can control is about the only way I can help myself stay sane right now. So that’s my plan.
There will be things that happen each day that will test me. My goal is to have the right attitude and face them head on. I will look for the joy and goodness in each day. I will ask for help when I need it so I don’t go mad. I will rest and take care of my body as best I can. I will make time for family and friends because they need me as much as I need them.
Yesterday I called my mom to make a day date for Thursday. I have the day off with no appointments and I miss her, so we are going to a movie or something… we don’t know what yet and that’s OK! Just hearing her so excited to see me melted my heart! We both need a good hug. I’ll be honest that you should be jealous…. my mom gives the BEST hugs!!!! Just thinking about one makes me happy.
Are you seeking out the joy today? It doesn’t take much effort, just think about those times you made someone smile, or did something kind. If you can’t think of one, just keep looking. I’m sure those moments are there. Stay open to the feeling and you’ll realize that you are pretty darn amazing!