When we were kids, were you one of those who didn’t care what other people thought of you? Or were you that self-conscious one who would hide things and make your reality appear different than it really was?
What about as an adult?
I think it’s really easy to say we don’t care what other people think of us, but I also think that’s a lie.
We don’t want to care, but we do. And it’s suffocating. It’s also time to stop it. We can’t control how other people think, we can only control what happens in our own hearts and minds, that’s it. Nothing else is truly important, it just seems that way.
As a kid, I think I hid a lot more than I even realized. I didn’t want to have friends over to my house because my step-dad was always drunk and mean. Our house wasn’t a fun place to be a lot of the time. I didn’t want others to see what kind of family we were.
In high school I hid behind alcohol myself. I wanted to be the fun one, even though I was so depressed… I didn’t want people to know, so I partied. That continued in college to an extent, but that was when I started to get more real with myself that alcohol didn’t solve anything.
Once I got married and had my kids I wanted people to think we had the perfect little family. I would put on a brave face someday’s even when we were drowning in debt and constantly worried about everything. We got through it, of course, but I hid a lot then too.
I also would hide my eating habits for many years. It wasn’t until I got real with myself about that that I finally got in a healthier relationship with food. I’m not perfect yet, there are still days I hide some chocolate in my purse or bedroom, it’s true. But I think I’m more honest with myself than I used to be.
These days I’m sure I still hide a lot from other people. I put on that brave face and soldier on, as they say…. but I also try to live more for me than ever. I’m not trying to hide, it’s just that I want to be happy and sometimes we have to “fake it until we make it” so to speak.
I need to honor myself now more than ever. I know there are things I’m doing that are honoring myself every day. From doing my workouts to writing this blog…. it’s all to make me feel my best, no matter what others think. I do hope to inspire and motivate others, but that would just be the icing on the proverbial cake… I’m doing this for me.
What is something you used to hide behind, or use to impress people that you need to stop doing and just live for yourself? I’ve learned that being more true to myself makes me the happiest I can be at any given time. Stop trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. It’s not their life… it’s yours.