Choices

We all have choices to make every day.  A choice about our attitude, how we want to live this crazy life.

Today would be one of those days I could choose to be lazy, feel sorry for myself, be self-destructive…. but I won’t.

Instead, a couple of days ago I made up my mind that I wouldn’t waste today.  I will get up, do my scheduled workout, shower, run my errands, and meet my mom for lunch.

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday and I likely won’t get a chance to see her then or over the weekend, so I figured a day early is better than not at all!

I’ve never been good at just making plans to see Mom.  When my kids were little I would bring them over after church on Sunday’s for a few hours, but that’s been years.  Life got busy and I just couldn’t make it happen after a while.  I told her to come to my house instead…. which never happened.  I understood, she was busy too, but I gave up on trying all that hard.  We got together when it suited us both over the last probably 15 years or so.  It’s sad, since we live less than half an hour away from each other.

So since she’s now retired, my kids are mostly grown, and her health is questionable at best…. I want to make our relationship a priority.  It’s my choice.  She’s thrilled, of course, but truly this is for me.

A few weeks ago we went to a movie and lunch.  We will do something this afternoon… maybe the same, who knows?  I don’t even know what’s playing that she wants to see, but it doesn’t matter.  I’ll go get her, we will hang out for a few hours… that’s all I care about today.

Making my relationship with my mom a priority is truly something I want to work on.  I lost my dad back in 1993, and nobody knows how long they will live, so I don’t want to look back and regret the time I didn’t spend with her.  I want to be able to say that I spent as much time as I could with her.  That we enjoyed our moments together.  That I soaked up all the hugs I could.

If there is a relationship in your life that you need to improve, just try spending some time together.  It doesn’t matter what you do or if you spend money or not… it’s about time.

It’s a choice.  Just like it’s a choice to work on your happiness, to feel grateful, to see the blessings in every day… these choices can either make life better or you can ignore them and not reap the benefits.

I’m choosing to listen to my heart and work on me, my relationships, feel my blessings and be happy.  Is it always easy?  No, not for someone who is battling depression and some pretty intense stress, but it’s a choice I feel I have to make.  It’s a battle I don’t want to lose.

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