Very Thankful

I really am thankful for everything I have. Even when I’m depressed I know I have so much to live for, so many people in my corner that I am truly blessed. I don’t go around saying that just to say it, I mean it!

Today I get another chance to help lead worship at my church. This always brings me so much joy, but I might be a little emotional today. I do believe it’s that Sunday that the graduates will be in the audience.

My son should be one of them, and he’s not.

School was always important to me and I worked pretty hard and made good grades. I could have done better, but I still had no doubt I would graduate and go to college. That was my path. I wanted something similar for my kids.

They both chose differently. To be honest, it hurts.

It hurts because they don’t have the same love of learning that I do. They don’t see the value in education like I do. I’m still learning all the time and I still love to read (and write) just for the pleasure of it. They’ve never enjoyed it. But at least my oldest now is learning so much at his trade school. I’m thankful for that.

But it’s hard for me to be thankful for what my younger son is doing right now. Sure, he’s working and hopefully paying off his debts, but I wish like crazy that he was right there in the front row with his cap and gown today.

I wanted to throw a party in his honor for his graduation. I won’t get to do that.

Still, I’m thankful. Emotional, hormonal, a little off-balance, but thankful.

I have a family who loves me. I have a group of friends who love me. I even have two work families who put up with me and a church family who prays for me.

I am blessed.

There’s nothing wrong with being thankful for everything I have. After all, nobody’s life is perfect, is it? I seriously doubt it.

If you’ve learned anything at all about me just by reading this blog, I hope you’ve learned one thing…. I don’t like bullshit. I am not about painting myself as this picture perfect person who sparkles all the time. Some days I do really well, other times I’m a mess… mostly I’m a mess lately, and that’s OK! I’m working on getting back to sparkles and rainbows!

In the meantime, I’m just thankful.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

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