Sometimes when I’m depressed I get overwhelmed with stuff. It’s like I feel things more deeply than I should or something. If something goes wrong I take it personally. It’s not rational, it’s just anxiety rearing it’s ugly head.
Last week was pretty tough on me, and it’s just continued. The hardest thing is that what I’ve been the most emotional about isn’t even happening to me, but I’m having a hard time processing it.
When I started at the office where I work almost 15 years ago I became a part of a work family that I will cherish forever. We have laughed and worked and cried together, have been through many good times and bad. Weddings, births, deaths… you name it, we are there for each other.
One of my dear work friends has had a tragedy happen in their family. Her older brother has five kids, including a set of adorable twin boys who are now 13 (I so remember them being born!). Last week, while they were just playing like they always do, Carter had a seizure. After some surgery to relieve pressure in the brain, days in a medically induced coma, Carter passed away on Tuesday. A week after the incident.
There are no words for how devastating this is for their family. I grieve with them. As a mom I can’t even imagine. Just at a loss of words, which is strange for me. I’ve been praying for his miracle all week, it came as God called him home. Not exactly what we were hoping for, but that’s how it is sometimes. We don’t always get what we want, we get what God wants for us. Does it make sense? Not always. But it doesn’t have to, does it. We move on.
So today I’m going to keep it simple. I’m going to keep this in front of me this week as I am still in a bit of a pit and need to dig myself out. My to-do list will be to count my blessings, practice kindness, be productive yet calm, let go of what I can’t control, just breathe, tell my family how much I love them, and make a difference in someone’s life.
Simple. That’s what I need to focus on this week. It’s so easy for me to want to try and fix things and get even more overwhelmed. Today’s focus might just be to just breathe. That’s a good start.